April 5, 2019 at 3:17 AM #19965
I’m still in the beginning of the course, but client work doesn’t stop in the meantime (gotta pay my rent, etc etc). I am adding what I learn in this course to my process as I go! Anyone want to jump in here and offer any suggestions to improve this copy?
This product is an all-in-one workflow software (that also includes accounting capabilities and tonnnnn of other features) JUST for events professionals–wedding planners, event photographers, caterers, etc.
Client really wants to use the word “unified/unify” and wants to sound a tiny bit clever.
Here’s the homepage headline/subhead I’ve got:
[headline] Confidently manage everything in your events business. Skyrocket your success.
[subhead] FeteWork unifies all your business processes into one sleek software that’s customizable for exactly what you need. Designed for event professionals—by event professionals.
Here’s a bit of copy that introduces the software on the parent company website alongside a few other products:
[product name] FeteWork
[headline] One sleek software to handle everything in your events business.
[body] Stop feeling frustrated with the extra work that comes with using a software (or two…or three) that wasn’t designed with your business in mind.
With FeteWork, you can manage clients, streamline event workflow, send proposals and contracts for e-signature, receive online payments, manage inventory, and more—all within one, easy-to-use platform that’s customizable for exactly what you need.
April 6, 2019 at 7:35 AM #19994
You’ll often have clients wanting to up the number of 10 dollar words in their copy — so they sound clever.
Cos people who talk good must be gooder at what they do, right?
A straightforward message ISN’T DUMB but complicated language makes the copy harder to read… so it’s understood by fewer people.
So, if a client wants to use bigger words, let them know that good copy can be read AND UNDERSTOOD by someone with an elementary school level education and that the easier it is to read, the more people will read it.
Right… with that rant out of the way 😉
“Confidently managing everything in a business” is a BIG (kind vague) result. Get more specific and it will resonate more strongly with your audience.
One question I have is: What’s the BIGGEST pain point for this audience?
In your later copy, you talk about the frustration of juggling multiple tools that weren’t designed for these businesses. That seems like a great pain point to focus on.
Sick of the extra work that comes with business tools that aren’t designed for YOUR business?
Sick of figuring out business tools that aren’t designed for YOUR business?
Sick of juggling business tools that aren’t designed for YOUR business?
As you can see… I write multiple versions (LOTS) of one idea to play with wording and length. And they get more succinct as I go.
TIP: Brainstorm A LOT.
If your client really wants those $10 words in:
[subhead] FeteWork unifies your business processes into one software tool. Designed for event professionals—by event professionals.
<< that last bit is the KEY. Your subhead doesn't need to explain that it's customisable etc. Explain that in the body copy. The BIG feature is that it's designed especially for these businesses. Make that the HOOK!
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