June 12, 2019 at 3:58 AM #21416
(And thanks, Belinda, for pointing out this perk.)
Will you please check the text and recording on my landing page?
I’ve decided to put recordings back on my pages, and this one is super short.
I had two requests from sight-impaired readers, so I figured I may as well put that broadcasting experience to work, again :->
Not all the pages are done, yet, but feel free to look around and see which ones have recordings.
Would appreciate your help and can be your ‘fresh pair of eyes’ for your sites, too, K.
June 12, 2019 at 2:08 PM #21433
Iye Iye Shay Hey Kathie, I love the story! It made me gasp in horror 😂
I think the landing page reads well.
Maybe the phrase “Move your text…” could change to “Transform your text…” so that change seems a bit more powerful (and a little magical)? Ha
Hope that helps 🙂
June 12, 2019 at 10:11 PM #21435
I thought it read very well also.
Definitely a killer example of why people need a proofreader not involved in the project.
Something I saw though was in the comment box. I would delete the (Question or comment required). That is pretty self-explanatory with the ‘Please leave a message…’ right about it.
I would also look at rejigging the final section a little too, to make it a little stronger and more compelling to take action.
Maybe something like below (apologies it is very rough, my brain is about done for today, haha)
Move your text from ‘blah’ to ‘breathtaking’ with me, Kathie York.
I make sure your words are free from errors so that (big benefit).
(work in this )Strategic Website Assessments (proofing on steroids :->)
Proofing • Editing • Copywriting
To get you text (something – words are escaping me at the moment), contact me, today at:
… or learn more about the [services I offer: link to services]
If you could incorporating some testimonials onto your landing page, that would be good too 🙂
Can you get some of your client’s headshots from LinkedIn as well to add a bit authority to the testimonial you already have?
Hope that helps,
June 13, 2019 at 1:53 AM #21437
I loved your story – I’d put a headline on it to show readers what they’re about to read and tease them..ie ‘This horror story will remind you why proofreading will never die out’.
Could you mention the cost of the mistake? Especially as the fliers had already been printed – people hate being reminded of how much money they can lose if mistakes are noticed too late.
I’d also make the following questions more benefit orientated:
Are you ready for a ‘fresh pair of eyes’ to check your work?
Could you use help with editing your written words?
Would amazing results from your website make your day?
Right now they don’t give a benefit for the reader or compel them to act.
Your call-to-action is really small – make it bigger and make it stand out by putting it in a different colour.
I’d also avoid getting people to email you, as they never know what to put in the email – could you direct them to fill out an application form instead?
June 13, 2019 at 10:57 AM #21445
Josh and Nicola,
Now I have two MORE people where – when he pops into my office – Ron (hubby) will know he won’t see MY face very much, today!
I do that with Belinda, too.
The message open on the iPad, the website open on the desktop, and I’m working away.
Thank you both SO much, K.
June 17, 2019 at 7:39 AM #21542
Thank you all so much! If you want to check out the results: https://kathieyork.com/
It never ceases to amaze me just how true my tag phrase (“Never proof your own work!”) is … even for me!
I would have seen much of this if it had been a client file. But for my own stuff … blind to it.
— Iye Iye: I changed ‘move’ to ‘transform.’ It makes the title go to two lines, but it is so much better. You are right … more powerful.
— Josh: I need to talk with my developer about ‘softening’ the text in the contact box. It has nothing to do with my pages, but the text is too dark and, of course, displays everywhere. Thanks for the reminder.
I now have three links at the bottom: my email, client testimonials, and discovering ‘ways I can help you achieve your project goals (which takes them to my Services page).
Will work on other textual ideas when I have another minute. :->
— Nicola: Yep, I needed a better headline to pull people in. Duh, Kathie! It now says, “Here’s why proofing will never die!” and I’ve placed it above my photo. Otherwise, people must to scroll to see it.
Check out the change in the math ‘formula,’ too … not only do I mention it’s an expensive rewrite, I have an extra note now, cautioning it might also mean missing your deadline. (That one was Ron’s [hubby] idea. I shoulda seen that one.)
I don’t have time, now, to use all your suggestions, but these help it quickly look better.
THANK YOU, ALL!
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